Date: January 09, 2008 at 20:29:05
From: Tor
Age: 29
Subject: worried shes done with me.
why am i so damn worried shes has no interest in being serious with me anymore?
having trouble just reading a good book and shaking thoughts from my head.
we normally did not go 1 day without speaking and not 2 days without seeing eachother
suddenly a break for 3 weeks
she; 29, Ivy league gal, very-active, writing job.
me; 29, art school, mildly active, director at small studio.
we met at a friends Bday party and hit it off pretty quick. made out alot...
She mentioned "i am going to be single" when i asked her status. She wouldn't see me right away, about 1 month passed with light conversation on phone.
we started seeing eachother 1-2 times a week since AUG, it was light,
i told her i wanted to see her more and she voiced complete agreement
so by end of NOV it was 2-4 times a week with very gratifying sex.
i asked why it took so long if she was into me and she told me "it was a moral delima"
she has expressed huge affection for me and our compatability.
we have political and social views that work perfect, we have great conversation, we make eachother laugh too.
i have slight anxiety sometimes and low GF milage (2 offical gf's my life so far, dated another 2, she is 5th full partner)
she has somewhat over protecting parents (like-wise for me) however i moved across the country at 18 and she lives at home (for finacial reasons as SoCa is $$$$ rent)
now a huge gap in our meeting has occured.
she was busy since early Xmas break with family. (dec 22nd) then new years came around. i invited her to vegas with me + some friends and she at last minute stated she would stay local.
was feeling suscpicious even before new years at her lack of gusto for seeing me as often as time permitted.
at new years i msgd her "happy 2008" the next day since i got not reply and i msg'd "have not heard from you for a while, something you are not telling me?"
she replied with an "what? i adore you! im an open book! ask me anything"
turns out she did send me msg but my phone simply did NOT get them for that whole day.
i felt like a creepy, anxious fool (this sorta misunderstanding does happen with some repetition in my life,)
we have been ill with the flu/colds since new years..(wed 2nd)
i am doing much better (mon 7th) and she has msg'd me to tell me shes back at work doing better.
she still wouldnt see me mon or tues as she said shes still recovering or taking it easy and going to bed early.
here it is now the 9th and she has not even replied to me this evening.
i am a bit stressed out now, having trouble reading a book at the moment. only sent 1 msg today but am having a hard time controlling my compulsion to get in contact with her or txt a rash msg about "tell me if its over pls"
i am possibly over reacting, but i really feel like my instinct is justified.
wish i could just shrug of a gal and move on casually, but i don't seem to have a good ability to just move on.
what do you think?
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