Date: March 01, 2008 at 11:02:04
From: Thomas
Age: 60
Subject: Re: My husband feels inadequate in bed, How do I help?
Tell him how great the sex with him feels and how much you love it and how climax isn't that important to you and how his orgasm is more important to you than yours is, because you love him.
Admire his body. Touch him all over. Tell him you love every inch of his body. If you're "up" for this, show it with your hands and tongue and mouth. Of course, you might want to introduce these things gradually if you haven't been doing them.
But you also deserve to orgasm. And if he's like many men, he is going to really want for you to come. Many women, some say the majority, can't really orgasm from intercourse alone. There are a million things you can try, from him touching your clitoral area during intercourse to you touching it to him giving you oral sex or masturbating you to him using a vibrator or other device on you. There are also a million sex technique books.
Also, if he can get hard again not too long after he comes the first time, he might last longer the second.
Also, try different positions; guys can last longer in some than in other. Together you might find some positions where your vagina is a little bit less tight, reducing the friction.
Also, there are things he can do that might help him last longer, everything from what he thinks about to slowing the speed of his thrusts. He might feel better about himself if he can last longer. But he should also know that being able to make you come from intercourse alone has nothing to do with his virility or prowess in bed.
Finally, in my view real lovemaking has very little to do with technique and learning technique and who orgasms when, although all those things are important. But the most important thing is to playfully and worshipfully and imaginatively and lovingly make love to the other person, and for the two of you to passionately make love to each other together. How this is done depends on each person's tastes, but it could involve caresses, talking, nude embraces, etc. Too much focus on who orgasms when can become a bad thing, because paying too much attention to orgasm can inhibit it -- and everything else about lovemaking.
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