Date: April 09, 2008 at 15:59:26
From: Nikki
Age: 34
Subject: As usual, Thomas is right on!
As women, I think we often tend to minimize how sexual men are. Yes, it is completely normal to dream about sex! Surely you think so too. Don't you have sexual dreams yourself? If not, you're missing out!
In your case, your guy is having a hard time winning with you. :)
In the argument you refer to, you complained about how distant you thought he was being and about how he didn't want sex often enough to suit you. That very night, the sleep behavior you object to began. Don't you get that it was a reaction to that argument?
He was obviously troubled by what you said. He was dreaming about the concepts you argued about and trying to work it out in his subconscious.
Look at what he seemed to be dreaming about. From what he said and his actions while asleep, he seemed to be fervently trying to say he loves you and he seemed to be making love to you too. I'd say he loves you very much. You've got him trying to prove it to you even in his sleep!
Lola, why did it make you so uncomfortable that you had to bring it up to him? That seems more than a little insensitive to me. It seems like you don't have a clue about psychology either!
Instead of distressing him further by seeming upset by what is perfectly normal and acceptable, you should be reassuring him about your relationship!!!!!!!! Then he'll probably start sleeping easier. Do you ever cut this poor man a break?!
At any rate, I would think you would find it exciting, or at least affectionately amusing that your guy is speaking out about sex in his sleep. You love him, don't you? Don't you find it sweet that he would be thinking about you in his dreams? It's hardly a slam that he would be professing his love and desire in dreams about you.
Remember that if you want a more frequent sex life, you want to embrace his sexuality, not judge it! Being judged is a libido killer! You've already told him he isn't active enough for you.
Unfortunately, now you've undoubtedly made him more self conscious! Now you've told him that his sexual dreams about you make you uncomfortable. So it's up to you to undo the damage.
Build your man up; treat him wonderfully; be kind to him; and react to his sexuality. Then you'll be more likely to have the kind of partner you want, because you'll be a better partner too.
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