Nikki did a much better job of answering you than I did, and of course I agree with her.
What most men want in a lover is someone who actively desires you much of the time. This doesn't necessarily mean sex all the time; it could mean a head on your shoulder, or a smile, or some fingers down your pants. We all understand that others don't always want sex, but at the oint where it becomes an issue, a matter to negotiate about, something that requires special conditions, then I start to feel unloved, at least on a physical level.
You owe it to your partner, and just as importantly to yourself, to really work on this, through more talk, couples counseling, therapy for you alone, whatever might work.
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