Can you come when you masturbate yourself? That's the first step to finding out what helps you orgasm. Then have your b/f masturbate you. That should help him learn how to give you oral sex. With intercourse, most women can't come from intercourse alone. You can try different position, and also have him, or you yourself, stimulate you during intercourse.
Also, how is the emotional aspect of your relationship with your current boyfriend? "On and off" suggests it might be less than perfect? You could be responding to uncertainty or difficulty in the relationship. Some women can come easily; others require a feeling of great love and trust.
There are a zillion books, and I would guess Web sites, on this subject...
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